Deal With Fear

Fearlessness does not exist. The feeling is an emotion that is as constant as rain, it comes and goes. The first step in dealing with it is accepting that the rising sense of panic is neither good nor bad, weak nor strong. It is simply a fact of life that changes from person to person. There is not a single person in this world who will go through life without dealing with fear a few dozen times. So, I repeat, fearlessness does not exist. At least, not at the forefront of a problem.

Fear & Fearless Coexists

Before reaching ‘fearless’ we have to first get past ‘afraid’. One does not exist without the other. Fear varies in intensity. In every new experience there will be some misgivings. We are built to analyze our circumstances in terms of consequences versus benefits. One way to manage fear is by breaking it down into why you are feeling this way and is your caution warranted. Do the rewards exceed the risks? Fear is only a warning. The message is: mentally or physically, this could potentially harm you. We accept that for what it is, protection. But the choice we make afterwards is born from an analytical process.      

We are only fearless when we can genuinely say we faced our hardships and came out on the other side. Because it is a state of mind acquired in reward of bravery. That means we carried the full weight of that emotion. We problem solved, planned, and then we acted, all while carrying fear on our backs like a boulder. In exchange, we learn we will never again be afraid in similar situations. Additionally, we learn that we can overcome obstacles despite it. Or because of it.

Let Fear Motivate You

Panicking is only a problem when it stops us from achieving a goal or having something we desire. A debilitating emotion is the very antithesis of living to the fullest. It is your birthright to be happy and fulfilled. That makes fear an enemy of joy. If you’re a hardcore gamer you know what we do to enemies, we destroy them. You are a  fighter. There is nothing in life that can place shackles on your wrists that you can’t break free from. Adopt that mindset. Let fear push you into action.

These are the pros and cons to being afraid of some thing or some event. It can motivate. Add an element of adventure or excitement. There is a sense accomplishment knowing such a formidable emotion did not stop you. On the other hand, it is a heavy weight to carry. You can rob yourself of fortune and opportunity. Blame may be the worst. If we give in to fear we hold ourselves accountable with so much guilt, remorse, and accusation until it is suffocating. It is vital to remember it is natural to experience anxiety, and tomorrow comes with second chances. Persistence is another way we conquer fear.

Bravery Doesn’t Come Naturally

We are not born brave. We cling to our parent(s) from birth for fear of falling. It is not a personality trait given in the womb by a powerful force telling you in advance who you will become. Bravery is a skill. It is learned either during childrearing, through life, or both. Bravery is the hard-won proof that you went through something awful and won. We teach ourselves to deal with obstacles as they come no matter the cost. The more we do so it becomes a habit. It is a promise, a vow, to yourself to be your own greatest advocate.

If bravery is a skill, how is it acquired? Not easily. Such steadfast resolution is hard to gain and hard to maintain. However, two more ways to manage fear is to be resolved, stand strong in your decision to perform a particular action that induces fear. Secondly, empower yourself with words of encouragement. A positive mindset goes a long way in reducing fear to a manageable state. That is the initial goal, managing it so it does not overpower you. The second, and ultimate, goal is to relieve fear so you may find happiness or fulfill your objective.

Dealing with fear is a part of life. That must first be accepted. It is not an entirely bad thing. Fear is how we protect ourselves. To protect is to love. There is no reason to persecute yourself over a very natural emotion. Positivity eases the weight fear places on your mind. The less crushing the emotion is the more like it is to remain calm and think rationally. Bravery is a skill gained by repeatedly facing each obstacle life throws. That is how constructive habits are gradually formed with effort, endurance, and persistence.