Should love have conditions? Well, the short answer is sometimes. Love is the most coveted emotion and the most valued. It changes us. forces us to grow when we need to and compromise even when we are not sure it is the right thing to do. Love takes a wounded heart and heals it. And when things seem at their worse, love inspires. But how do we recognize it? What, if any, are the conditions we should place on it to protect ourselves and ensure we are treated the way all living beings deserves to be treated.
What is Love?
Love is kind, forgiving, merciful, and unconditional. Everyone has heard those words in some context or another. Personally, I agree with this. Love is unconditional. However, it comes in a multitude of shapes and forms. It represents the value placed on that person’s life and happiness when measured against your own. All life is valuable, but all life does not feel life something soft and fragile that you want to cradle next to your heart.
But love is a fire that only burns when there is someone to feed the flame. If only person is searching for ways to keep the kindling going, that person loses the motivation to keep doing so after a time. Love has no conditions. There should be no set of rules, or a long list of character traits needed before someone is qualified enough to be loved. If there is, that is not love, it is an application.
Should There be Conditions?
Most realists will say love definitely has conditions: respect, affection, an equal partner, to be treated as someone of value, have character, and honor. The moment a line gets crossed it is not that the love fades, it is that to love yourself, leaving is the best move. While there are no conditions on love, there are conditions for being together. The shape of love can change.
The best example of unconditional love is self-love, it is not a condition but a requirement. Really, what other option is there; leave yourself? A healthy state of mind and body demands that we treat ourselves with the utmost dignity and grace. If that affection should falter, we mend it. Relationships dissolve in part because it may seem easier to leave. And sometimes, leaving is best, especially if the partner, friend, or family member is causing emotional or physical pain. Chronic stress, depression, and anxiety will eventually progress toward physical illness: heart disease, diabetes, obesity, and so on.
The True Condition
The question is not whether or not there are conditions. Love does not fade because we want it to, or the word heartache would have never been invented. The question is, what are the conditions for staying and fighting to hold on to that bond. There is one core condition that ties all reasons together. Is the other party causing so much pain their partner begins to break faster than they can heal?
Should love have conditions? No one should have to change who they are in order to receive love. Partners, friends, and family should not feel compelled to place the conditions of being treated with respect, affection, and dignity. All relationships require maintenance, so it does not become a burden. Now, does love have limitations? That is a question for another article.
